


Soundtracks of Summers

by missgoalie75



Series: Asian Camp [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Gen Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-24
Updated: 2012-04-24
Packaged: 2017-11-04 06:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/390932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missgoalie75/pseuds/missgoalie75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine's summers at Asian Camp from ages eleven to sixteen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soundtracks of Summers

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the 2011 Blaine Exchange on beyond_dapper @ LJ. This is the [original version](http://beyond-dapper.livejournal.com/125620.html#cutid1), which goes a little over 10K - I had to cut it for the exchange due to word/character limits.
> 
> WARNINGS: language, mentions of homophobia and bullying.

Soundtracks of Summers

2005

_What happens at Asian Camp, stays at Asian Camp _. It's the unofficial motto spoken by all the camp attendants and even the counselors, despite the legitimate motto being something that vaguely resembles the ideology of Pan-Asianism.__

__Blaine's parents enroll him in Asian Camp when he's _thisclose_ to turning eleven and playing _From Under the Cork Tree_ at least once a day because it's pretty much the greatest album that's ever graced his ears. He argues with his parents about which programs to do (Blaine wants to do the arts while his father wants him to give football another go). Eventually, they compromise on Blaine signing up for sports (non-contact) and the arts. It helped that his mother stepped in and came up with the solution._ _

__To be quite honest, Blaine doesn't understand _why_ he's going to Asian Camp when he's only _half_ Pinoy, but his parents just say "It will be good for you" and "It'll make you more well-rounded" and something about highlighting his minority status, which he doesn't completely get, but if his parents think it's good, then it must be, right?_ _

__At eight o'clock in the morning, they drive him to the large parking lot right next to the highway exit, where the bus meets to drive the kids to the campsite. He hitches his navy backpack onto his shoulders, trying to quell his nerves because he pretty much sticks out like a sore thumb; most of the people in Blaine's school can't even _tell_ he's half Asian. _ _

__Short boys with bowl cuts and large glasses gawk at him as he enters the bus and it's every kid's worst nightmare: where is he going to _sit_?_ _

__He keeps walking down the aisle, trying to walk tall because that's what his father always told him to do whenever he was scared._ _

__"You can sit here."_ _

__He whips his head to his left, finding a girl with long black hair sitting by the window, the space next to her free. She doesn't look at him._ _

__He smiles gratefully and sits down. "Thanks."_ _

__She nods._ _

__They don't speak during the twenty-minute ride, but when Blaine pulls out his Walkman with Fall Out Boy, Tina sneaks a glance at him and smiles once before quickly facing the window._ _

__He offers an ear bud to her. "Do you wanna listen?"_ _

__It takes her three full seconds until she hesitantly takes it._ _

__By the end of “Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued,” she introduces herself as Tina Cohen-Chang, accentuating the _Cohen_ because "Even though I go to Asian Camp, I'm more than just a Korean girl."_ _

__Blaine holds out his hand, making her giggle, and responds with his name. She takes his hand to shake once._ _

__He stops secretly resenting his parents for signing him up for this._ _

__\---_ _

__Blaine's parents offer to pull him from camp for his birthday to take him wherever he wants, but he decides on going to camp and then out to dinner afterwards. He doesn't want to hurt his parents' feelings by admitting that it’s not just because they have to rehearse for the production in late July; he'd rather spend his birthday with his new friends._ _

__They end up picking a restaurant that wasn't his first choice, but he gets to wear a really nice suit that he chose himself (much to his mother's pleasure) and he orders from the children's menu, even though his parents have been trying to wean him off that during the past year._ _

__"Just this once. But really, dear, don't you want to be a proper gentleman?"_ _

__Blaine just nods noncommittally and orders his spaghetti while his parents order fish that he can't pronounce. He's gently coerced into taking a few bites (too lemony) and he washes it down with Coke._ _

__"It's important to try new things; it makes you cultured," Blaine's mother explains before taking a delicate sip of wine._ _

__Blaine doesn't really want to be cultured on his birthday – he just wants to eat things he enjoys and do things he really likes. Does that make him selfish?_ _

__\---_ _

_I got soul, but I'm not a soldier._

__He hears it while he's trying to weave a dream catcher and the lyric sticks with him for some reason._ _

__\---_ _

__One of the kids from the tech camp managed to fix an old boombox they found behind the stage a week ago. They've been taking advantage of it since, especially their counselor._ _

__The arts counselor is a sixteen-year-old boy named Pip who has long side bangs that cover one eye completely. He wears neon-colored skinny jeans and black hoodies and tries to force his kids to not immediately fall in love with everything on the radio, even though he's drumming his fingers on his knees to "Beverly Hills."_ _

__Tina, Blaine, and the rest of the kids in the play are lying on the sand of the man-made lake, soaking up the sun._ _

"' _Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be…_ '" Tina and Blaine murmur under their breaths, feeling boneless in the blinding heat. 

__He never really thought about leaving Ohio. Sure, he's been on vacations to exotic places and _loves_ the oceans on the east and west coasts, but Ohio is home._ _

__…Even though it would be awesome to see a real movie star._ _

__\---_ _

__Blaine's rather indifferent to the sports program of camp. The boys are nice, but he'd much rather spend his time learning choreography._ _

__\---_ _

__Blaine officially meets Wesley Lee ("My parents have off-colored humor. Just call me Wes," he explains to him dryly) when the entire camp comes together for lunch and the two boys are in the back of the line._ _

__Wes is a year older than Blaine and is a rather no-nonsense kind of person, but Blaine can admire that. He also has the _best_ vibrato, which is pretty cool._ _

__"So what exactly are you?" Wes inquires as he holds out his tray for the staff._ _

__It takes Blaine a few seconds to understand what he's asking. "Oh, uh. Pinoy. Half Filipino."_ _

__Wes nods, a small smile on his face. "That's interesting – I don't think this camp has seen a person of Filipino origin in quite a long time."_ _

__Blaine holds back his laughter because even though Wes is twelve, he sounds like he's thirty._ _

__"Do you like it here?"_ _

__Blaine is quick to nod, making Wes chuckle._ _

__"Stick with me, kid."_ _

__Again, Blaine really doesn't understand how adult Wes is, but it makes him feel more mature when he's with him, so he just grins._ _

__\---_ _

__"Okay, kids, this is going to be your _anthem_ from here on out," Pip states as he places one of his CDs into the boom box. They're taking a fifteen-minute snack break and Tina is watching him with rapt attention; Blaine doesn't understand the appeal of Pip – you can't even see half his face. And his pants are really obnoxious._ _

__The song is weird and someone starts unnecessarily screaming during the chorus, but it mentions Ohio so Blaine can understand why Pip likes it. Although could he stop headbanging to the lyrics? It can't be very fun._ _

__He glances at Tina, surprised to see her eyes wide and shining and her lips parted as if she's experiencing something otherworldly. Afterwards when they're waiting for the cue to dance on stage, he asks her about it._ _

__"I just _really_ liked that song," she answers with a shrug of her shoulders._ _

__He's kind of jealous of her for that because he hasn't felt that way about a song before. Even though he _loves_ that Fall Out Boy album, it didn't feel like an epiphany when he was listening to it for the first time. He hopes he can understand one of these days._ _

__\---_ _

__Wes likes really, _really_ wordy songs. It's not expected since he thrives on order and even patterns, but here he is, sharing his headphones with Blaine as they listen to a band that's trying to fit too many words into a single lyric. It should sound awful, but it doesn't; it's strangely poetic._ _

__There are some curses in the songs, which Blaine knows his parents wouldn't approve of, but he's beginning to discover that censoring kind of ruins songs._ _

__Blaine's favorite by this band talks about being ready to "bust a move" and Velcro shoes and constantly referring to someone named Betty. But they don't listen to that album a lot because the band just came out with a new one last month, which Wes seems dead-set on listening to as many times as possible._ _

__He doesn't get the first verse of "Let's Get Fucked Up and Die," but he doesn't ask Wes because he doesn't want to seem stupid._ _

_I want to thank you for being a part of my forget-me-nots and marigolds and all the things that don't get old…_

__He loves that verse so much that he writes it in the sand just to see if it's just as beautiful written down as it's sung._ _

__\---_ _

__"Dirty Little Secret" is _always_ playing on the radio and it's annoying, especially since Blaine kind of feels like he's hiding one, even though he doesn't know what it could be; he's a rather honest person by nature._ _

__And he keeps thinking about how _blue_ the lead singer's eyes are and how he couldn't stop staring at them in the music video._ _

__\---_ _

His parents attend the play, _Little Shop of Horrors_ , at the end of the month, despite Blaine only acting in the background of a few scenes, enthusiastic and cheery as ever. Wes is one of the few younger kids who have a speaking role, the rest of them going to kids who will be counselors-in-training next summer. 

__It's clear to Blaine that his parents don't quite get it, (the play, his passion) but he's too happy to have them here to care._ _

__His mother pulls him into a tight hug. "You did so well, dear."_ _

__Blaine glances expectantly at his father, who gives him a smile. "Nice job, Blaine," he adds, squeezing Blaine's shoulder once._ _

__Blaine keeps smiling, even though he doesn't really feel like smiling anymore._ _

__\---_ _

On the final day of camp that summer, Tina and Blaine sit together on the bus and listen to _From Under the Cork Tree_ as closure. 

_I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough, but we never had it at all._

__He doesn't know why he feels so sad right now, but Tina loops her arm through his and he feels a little better. He fights back tears because there's no reason to cry either._ _

__There's always next summer._ _

__(He tries not to think about how something about this summer can never be recovered again.)_ _

__\---_ _

____

2006

That first day, Blaine and Tina run toward each other and squeeze the life out of one another; it's the best kind of hug. Their mothers coo and gush on how cute they are. He wants to correct them because he knows what they're thinking and _it's not like that._ But Tina doesn't care and she grabs his hand so they get a seat together.

This time she takes out an iPod, which he knows he'll be receiving for his twelfth birthday in a few weeks. She shows him her music collection, which has some artists he recognizes like Avril Lavigne and Yellowcard, but there are others he doesn't know at all.

She picks a song from the band that sings that Ohio song, the one with the unnecessary screamer. He doesn't have the heart to tell her that he doesn't care for this band, especially when Pip gets on the bus and positively _beams_ when he sees what's playing on her iPod, making her flush in joy.

He can understand the desire ( _need_ ) to impress someone.

\---

Pip explains to the kids in the arts program that since there aren't as many people as there were last year, the arts program of Asian Camp will be merging with the musical theater camp that's across the street. Blaine didn't even know such a thing existed, but he's really excited now.

The kids who are older than Blaine aren't so excited.

He finds out later that they're not happy about this because the kids who go to the musical theater camp are _really, really_ talented; they'll get most of the leads and solos.

He just likes being a part of something big.

\---

Everyone keeps talking about a Jesse St. James and " _Thank God_ he's not here this summer."

Blaine doesn't ask who he is because these theater kids intimidate him, seemingly so much more sophisticated than him, even though he's always been told that he's "very refined" for someone his age.

(He's never felt that way about himself, ever).

\---

Pip is staring at a tech kid's laptop through the spaces between his fingers. "It's the death of music," he wails.

Everyone crowds around him to stare at a black and white music video with the title "Stars Are Blind."

The song is quite terrible, but all the boys around him are in _awe_ at the screen while the girls (and himself) are side-eyeing it with distaste. Afterwards, the boys are cawing about how pretty and hot she was. Blaine keeps his mouth shut because he doesn't see the appeal at all, but he doesn't want to cause an argument.

\---

The older kids in the theater camp are _obsessed_ with _Stadium Arcadium_ and Blaine can't see why. Sure, there are some okay songs on the CD, but everything else? Really?

But soon a lot of the girls revolt and they start playing Dashboard Confessional all the time, which he rather likes – it's so fitting for summer.

He catches Tina humming "Stolen" under her breath and he thinks she has to have a really pretty voice. Sometimes he forgets how shy she is around other people and he hopes she'll one day be brave enough to really sing.

\---

Blaine's dad buys Pearl Jam's new album that was released two months ago because he has a "guilty pleasure for grunge rock."

When the first song plays, Blaine recognizes the distinct voice, reminding him of when he was a lot younger.

It's nostalgic for father and son.

Blaine falls asleep on the ride home from the bus stop, _I'll be here, come back, come back, I'll be here_ repeating in the car, his chest aching.

\---

As the boys in the sports program take a water break, one of them, Adam, quickly whispers how he kissed Sharon Liu behind the dock for _at least_ five minutes. Blaine pretends to be interested when he really couldn't care less. In fact, if he were to be pushed on the matter, he would say that Sharon is such a sweet girl and she doesn't deserve to be talked about like this.

\---

Tina hums “SexyBack” while they’re lounging on the dock in the middle of the lake. They can hear the song being blasted on the beach for the fifth time that day.

Blaine groans. “That song is _so_ overplayed.”

“I know, but it’s _so good_.”

“True.”

Silence.

“I have a question,” she asks.

“Yeah?”

His heart jumps to his throat after a few seconds pass.

“Never mind.”

He exhales through his nose, suddenly at ease. He has no idea what she was going to ask, but he was still nervous anyway.

\---

Blaine's iPod consists of his father's favorite musicians and a select number of songs and albums from current all-guy bands.

It's like his iPod isn't even _his_ ; it's missing too much.

But Wes and Tina, with the help of the tech kids, burn CDs for Blaine, who leaves certain ones without names; his dad updates Blaine's iPod because Blaine doesn't have his own computer yet (next year, next year, _please_ ).

\---

Blaine can't help but notice that he's one of the last boys to be picked for flag football, even though he's one of the faster kids.

\---

Tina chooses their final bus ride song and it's something that's played on the radio a lot (is it just him, or do the same handful of songs seem to be on repeat everyday?), but it's so much more personal when it's just the two of them listening to it.

_And even when your hope is gone, move along, move along just to make it through…_

He doesn't know why he's feeling such foreboding; it's scaring him.

\---

2007

Soon Blaine Anderson will be thirteen and he'll be one step closer to freedom, meaning he'll get his own laptop, meaning he'll _finally_ have his music organized in a proper way; he won't have to hide Rihanna, Beyoncé, Lily Allen, and Christina Aguilera under pretend band names and secret code numbers.

The only drawback is that he'll have to be careful where he leaves his iPod – he's sure a lot of guys won't understand why he has "Teardrops on My Guitar," let alone Taylor Swift's entire album.

\---

Tina and Blaine listen to _Infinity On High_ on the first bus ride.

They both don't mention what a let down this album is.

\---

He meets the infamous Jesse St. James on the first day; it seems the guy likes to make an impression.

And Blaine can't help but admire him, at least a little bit. He has a rather natural charm to him and his voice is _incredible._

Wes thinks the guy is a "douche," but for once Blaine doesn't agree with him.

There has to be something more.

(Although the first lyric that comes to Blaine's mind when he sees Jesse St. James is " _a loaded god complex, cock it and pull it._ ")

\---

Blaine is playing the piano in the music cabin during lunch when he officially meets Jesse St. James.

"Hello – don't you belong in that Asian camp?" Jesse inquires loftily, not even glancing up from his songbook as he flips through pages.

"Yes, my name's Blaine," Blaine answers, proud that his voice doesn't shake. He's getting rather good at hiding his nerves.

Jesse hums noncommittally. "You play rather well."

Blaine flushes a little. "Thank you. Years of lessons."

Jesse finally glances up to grace Blaine with a small, almost patronizing smile. "Are you in junior high?"

"I'll be in eighth grade. And you're…?"

"Going to be a sophomore."

"Oh."

Of course Blaine knows – Jesse St. James won Nationals with his school's glee club as a _freshman._

Blaine plays the chorus of "Nothing Lasts Forever" in the awkward silence even though he's still disappointed that Maroon 5's second album didn't live up to his expectations.

(This is a year of letdowns and he's so afraid of becoming one himself that he can't breathe sometimes.)

"Do you want to play something together?"

Blaine stops playing to stare at Jesse, whose eyes have softened considerably.

"Y-Yeah, sure."

Hey, Blaine's not perfect.

\---

It's when Blaine first meets Mike Chang does he realize _okay, something is definitely wrong with me._

He shouldn't say wrong, he should say _different_ , but it's hard to be politically correct when you're staring at a pack of abs that shouldn't exist outside of a photo shoot.

Mike, apparently, used to attend Asian Camp before Blaine, but during the past two years Blaine has gone, Mike has been visiting extended family in Hong Kong. Mike is really nice, quiet, and athletic with a bright smile.

And Blaine Anderson kind of has a crush on him.

Blaine's not a curser, but

oh

_fuck._

\---

"Are you alright, Anderson?"

"Actually, I feel rather nauseous – may I sit out?"

It's probably a good thing he ends up vomiting ten minutes later to really sell it.

\---

"What's on your mind, hobbit?"

Blaine is mindlessly strumming a guitar in the music cabin. He's sitting by the piano again because he tried playing that earlier, but his hands kept screwing up. 

Ever since that little _revelation_ , he's been half-faking dizziness from the sun and has been avoiding the sports camp and hiding in the music cabin since.

Jesse sighs as he slides onto the bench, nudging Blaine. "What is it?" he asks, kinder.

Blaine inhales shakily. "I don't know."

Jesse exhales through his nose, but says nothing for a while. He sets his hands on the keys, his brow furrowed in thought. "Sing with me."

Blaine almost laughs, thinking it to be a joke. "What?"

"Come on. You have to have _some_ sort of talent to be Chorus Member Number Five, right?"

Blaine has no idea how Jesse knows his exact part.

"I'm definitely not as good as you."

"Let me decide for myself?" Jesse starts playing a familiar piano verse. "I hope you know this song. If you don't, I'm afraid I'll have to stop being your mentor."

Blaine smiles, wondering when Jesse decided that was his role. "I know it."

"Great." Jesse repeats the part again. "Join in on the second verse."

Blaine nods.

"' _I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea…_ '" Jesse croons and Blaine is _mesmerized_ by the way his lips form the words, how the tendons in his neck shift and his fingers dance along the white keys.

Jesse St. James doesn't need Vocal Adrenaline to win anything, Blaine is sure of it.

Blaine bites his bottom lip as Jesse stops singing, knowing his part is next.

"' _I look to the sea, reflection in the waves spark my memory…_ '" Blaine starts, his eyes squeezed shut because he's so scared to be doing this right now. He's never sung on his own before.

But by the end of the verse, his voice is stops shaking and he manages to sneak a peak at Jesse, who's focused on the piano keys, a smile on his face.

"' _But we'll try best that we can to carry on…_ '" Blaine tries to hold back a grin as he mimics the electric guitar riff on the acoustic. It doesn't quite work, but it's still awesome in its own way.

They join together; Jesse harmonizing at _a gathering of angels appeared above my head_ and Blaine wonders if Jesse ever needs to harmonize anymore – probably not. But Blaine feels rather special that someone like Jesse would harmonize to _his_ melody.

Blaine loses all inhibitions at the third _come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me._

It's the most fun he's ever had, period, hands down, without a doubt.

When Jesse's hands slip off the keys and the guitar strings have finished vibrating the final chord, Blaine, still on a bit of a high, blurts out, "I think I'm gay."

Once the words are out of his mouth, he blushes so hard that he wouldn't be surprised if he could fake having a high fever. He's afraid to see Jesse's expression.

"And?"

Blaine feels tears sting his eyes as he tries hard not to cry because that would be _so_ embarrassing.

Jesse sighs and clasps a hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Listen up, Anderson, because I'm only going to be this nice once. You have a lot of potential. In fact, if I wasn't sure that your future high school didn't have a glee club, I would be a little concerned." Blaine knows the last part is kind of a lie since Vocal Adrenaline is the _crème de la crème_ , but he appreciates the sentiment. "And quite honestly? I'm not the first person you should've told."

Blaine kind of realized that the moment he said it, but he doesn't point it out.

"However," Blaine's never heard Jesse speak so _kindly_ before. "With what you have, what you _can_ have, it shouldn't matter. At least outside of Ohio it won't, for the most part. Now that you're finally realizing who you are, you're going to find people who will recognize that and others who won't."

Blaine is fully aware that this is a turning point in his life, something that's always seen in coming-of-age movies. Or at least it's something really memorable that he'll always keep to himself, like a secret hope chest.

"Your being gay doesn't change _anything_. You're still Blaine Anderson, a rather naïve, stupidly generous, moderately intelligent person with a nice little musical gift."

Blaine exhales shakily in relief.

Maybe telling him was an okay choice after all.

(He might go as far to think that Jesse changed his mind halfway through his own speech.)

\---

Blaine toys with the idea of telling his parents at the end of the day, but he's still scared out of his mind.

It's okay for him to let it sink in before he tells anyone else, right?

\---

Two weeks later he really thinks about the implications of actually being gay and hides his face in his pillow so his screams are muffled. No need to wake his parents with something so trivial as a teenage (identity) crisis.

He mourns for his parents, whose dreams for him will shatter, including futures with grandchildren who'd have his eyes and a nondescript girl's smile. He just feels so _guilty_ that it makes it stomach churn.

If he could change, he really, really would; he owes his parents everything.

( _Last year's wishes are this year's apologies_.)

This is the summer when he thins out and loses a lot of his baby fat around his face, waist and hips. His parents just assume he's growing up.

(They ignore the fact that he's not eating as much.)

\--- 

Jesse and Blaine are sprawled on Jesse’s large towel, tanning in silence as Mika fills in the gaps. The guy has a strange voice, but Blaine really enjoys him. Blaine can hear some people gossiping, confused as to why the star of the theater camp is at Asian Camp’s manmade lake, but they ultimately don’t bother them.

“Love Today” becomes a summer anthem and whenever and wherever he is after this summer, he’s sure he can just close his eyes and be transported to sand, sun, and serenity.

_Everybody’s gonna love today, gonna love today, anyway you want to, anyway you got to, love love me…_

\---

It's the last day of camp and he decides to tell Tina because she's really open-minded and she's his best friend at camp (and in general, pretty much). He manages to say the words without too much of a tremble.

Tina immediately wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him. She plays with the curls at the base of his neck as she says, "I'm glad you told me."

He smiles into her neck. Maybe it will be okay after all.

\---

Wes doesn't even bat an eye. Instead, he surprises Blaine by pulling him into an awkward side hug; Wes isn't one for physical contact while Blaine craves it.

Then he changes the subject to talk about Motion City Soundtrack releasing their new album in a month and he'll e-mail Blaine the songs. Blaine assumes that this is his way of saying it doesn't matter.

They listen to the two songs that are out from the album, "Broken Heart" and "This Is For Real."

_This is the best thing that I've ever had for real._

He likes that one.

\---

The final bus ride includes upbeat songs like "Girlfriend" (Tina is a closeted Avril Lavigne fan) and "Love Today" and the ancient "Summer Girls," even though they're not really allowed to appreciate that one since they're too young.

This is a summer of enlightenment and hope.

\---

Intermission

Blaine learns a very important lesson between the summers of 2007 and 2008:

If you're not vocally denying something, you're inadvertently confirming it. For example, by not denying the rumor that he is gay, he ends up confirming it, making it a fact.

By the time he realizes what he's done, it's like he never deliberately came out of the closet; he feels like he lost an opportunity of empowerment, not taking the step forward and claiming his identity.

And he's brought down for it. Every. 

Single. 

Day.

\---

_Let's get fucked up and die._

_I'm speaking figuratively, of course, like the last time I committed suicide._

_Social suicide._

He gets it now.

\---

2008

Blaine's father brings home a red, 1959 Chevrolet Impala Convertible and tells Blaine that they're going to spend the summer restoring it.

Blaine asks about Asian Camp and his father says that he'll only go two or three days a week instead of five.

He should be mad and maybe he is a little bit, but this year has been rough with guidance counselor visits and calls from the school about Blaine's "situation" and Blaine just wants to reach out and meet his dad halfway, even if his attempts at bonding are usually misses more than hits.

"Okay," he says, a smile on his face.

\---

Tina's hair is streaked with hot pink and Blaine thinks it looks fantastic.

"Seriously, this is _so_ you, I love it," Blaine gushes, fingering dyed strands, "How did your parents agree to it?"

She shrugs. "I just asked them and they said as long I didn't do anything severe and it wasn't my whole head, then it was fine."

"That's really nice. And here I was thinking you totally rebelled."

She nudges him, laughing. "I may look like a rebel, but I'm _so_ not. It's a sad truth." She pulls out her iPod and scans through her artists. "Wanna go old school?"

"Of course."

_Everything, everything will be just fine, everything, everything will be alright, alright…_

The song blasts through their ear buds so the entire back of the bus can hear and everyone's singing along with reckless abandon.

It's one of the only times when all the kids manage to unite regardless of their programs.

\---  
They listen to Bruce Springsteen and Steely Dan and The Rolling Stones and Blaine stains his favorite pair of worn jeans with motor oil in the most _inconvenient_ place, but they laugh about it for _days_.

One of Blaine's curls gets caught in the machinery twice before his father practically drags him to the barber to get it cut shorter than normal. It's weird at first, but he kind of likes the ease of it.

This is actually kind of ( _really_ ) nice and he feels closer to his father in a way he didn't think he could.

\---

Katy Perry has taken over the radio and Blaine actually hates her. "I Kissed A Girl" is one of the most annoying songs he's ever heard, not to mention the fact that it implies that the gay lifestyle exists for the sole purpose of attracting attention.

At least that's his opinion. Tina just slaps him on the arm and says it's just a bit of fun – it's not supposed to be serious. She sings it loud and proud and he's kind of sad that _this_ is the first song he hears her really sing, but at least Katy Perry is helping her branch out, so Blaine can respect her for that.

But he wouldn't be caught dead singing one of her songs, he's sure of it.

Jesse just laughs at his snobbery and tells him to lighten up.

"She's _going_ places. The way she introduced herself into the music business is actually _genius_. Just watch," he tells Blaine.

\---

“Just Dance” quickly breaks into his “Top 25 Most Played” playlist; now _this_ artist is going places, even though the song isn’t playing nearly enough on the radio. Even Wes, who doesn’t get into pop artists unless they’re high on the Billboard’s Top 100, sees the appeal.

Jesse’s not so sure.

(It’ll be the only time Blaine was unequivocally _right_ and Jesse’s sense of great talent is proven to be not so flawless.)

\---

Mike chooses Blaine first for Frisbee golf and Blaine is so, so grateful.

As used to being picked last as he is, it's nice to be picked first, to be reminded that he's not so worthless even though everyone else around him seems determined to make him that way.

\---

The new counselor is the very orderly Christine, who was never a camper since she just moved to Ohio this year, and she's kind of a bitch. How she's the counselor for the arts section is a mystery. Thankfully, the counselors of the musical theater camp manage to shut her down during the rehearsals, but other than that, she's annoyingly controlling.

"Let's be rebels," Tina whispers conspiratorially, reaching her hand into a bowl and before Blaine realizes what's happening, he's hit in the face with rainbow sequins.

He spits out a few before sticking his hand into the bowl and throwing some back at her. She shrieks with laughter and soon Dave Cho is squirting glue in Phil Himura's face and screaming, "That's for ruining my _Bleach_ shirt last week!"

Blaine and Tina are still laughing as their parents are called, Christine bordering on tears; it was worth it.

\---

"Hey, not to sound like a jerk, but you're kind of throwing the ball wrong."

Blaine looks to Mike, smiling sheepishly. "I'm more of a spectator for the sport than a player."

Mike grins. "It's cool, I'll show you."

And when he doesn't even flinch at touching Blaine, helping him adjust his grip, Blaine realizes even though too many bigots inhabit Ohio, there are also surprisingly kind people who live here as well.

\---

They only have a few more things to do before the car is finally finished. _Who's Next_ is blasting from his father's iPod speakers and Blaine actually can't wait to ride in this – there's a certain freedom that comes with riding in a convertible.

_And I'm gonna tune right in on you…_

His father's humming along and he's in tune for the most part – it's terribly ironic that Blaine got his singing talents from his father, the one parent who doesn't understand his passion for the arts.

He's wiping his hands on a towel when he hears it:

_I'm getting in tune to the straight and narrow…_

He pauses, his brain working too fast for his half-formed thoughts to make much sense as the line is repeated over and over and over again.

No, he's being stupid. This is bonding, they're connecting the way a father and son should; there's no reason to ruin it with his paranoia.

\---

"Are you excited for high school?" he asks Tina as they swing their legs over the edge of the dock, the water cold on their feet.

She runs her teeth over her bottom lip. "I should be, but I know better – it's going to be the same as junior high. But kind of worse at the same time."

_Worse._

\---

Wes and Blaine listen to Coldplay but skip "Viva la Vida" because they hear it enough in cars and stores and everywhere else.

"Lovers in Japan" is Blaine's favorite – there's something about that song that's kind of beautiful; it makes him feel romantic joy and forget everything around him.

Osaka makes itself onto Blaine's unofficial list of places he wants to visit.

\---

"We did good," his father states proudly, admiring the car with his arms crossed.

Blaine nods, grinning.

"When you're old enough to drive," his father shakes his head, a fond smile on his face, "You'll be charming girls in no time."

Blaine's heart stops in his chest and he's pretty sure he's experiencing a minor death.

"I mean…" his father coughs, uncomfortable, "I'm sorry. It was a slip –"

"Of course."

"I'm serious, Blaine, I didn't –"

"Didn't Mother want us to be showered in time for dinner? I should probably do that," Blaine continues smoothly, finding himself thinking, _act cool, it doesn't bother you, think of Jesse._

He wonders when he started doing that.

\---

It's really childish, but he's kind of had enough of pleasing his parents.

He is a teenager, after all; he's expected to pull shit like this.

He plugs his iPod into the stereo system his parents bought him for Christmas and makes a playlist with _GAY_ in mind, putting Mika and the Scissor Sisters and Britney Spears and every other artist he never listens to without earphones.

That changes today.

"Grace Kelly" booms through his stereo and it kind of hurts his ears, but it feels ridiculously satisfying. He sings loudly to the lyrics as he showers: "' _Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me? Why don't you walk out the door!_ '"

\---

Dinner is a silent, stifling affair.

\---

"Again."

Blaine groans. "Seriously?"

"Hey, do you want to sound good or do you want to sound great?"

Jesse makes a point (he always has a point).

Blaine takes a sip of water and sings again.

\---

Wes is suddenly infatuated with Death Cab for Cutie and is forcing Blaine to be "encased in their musical brilliance" by making him mixes. They're not bad – their songs are kind of relaxing even though a lot of the lyrics make him a little bitter; he just ignores them.

Blaine's father knocks on his bedroom door before opening it. Blaine's staring at the ceiling as he lies on his bed.

"Hey, Blaine, I have tickets for the Reds next week through a client – do you want to go?"

This is the first time they've talked in two weeks.

Blaine bites his bottom lip. "I don't really like baseball, Dad," he admits, "But thanks."

"Right. Just…thought I'd offer."

When his father shuts his bedroom door, he calls out, "Maybe football season."

His father doesn't say anything and maybe he didn't hear him. Typical.

\---

_And there was little we could say, and even less that we could do, to stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you._

This band is too fucking sad.

\---

"Good luck with high school – I hope things will be better there," Wes says, hugging Blaine very briefly.

Blaine doesn't have the heart to argue with a boy who grew up in a bubble.

\---

"You're better than them," Jesse merely tells Blaine, as if informing him the color of the sky is blue.

It gives Blaine a bit hope like maybe, _maybe_ it will be okay.

(Blaine will eventually hate him for this.)

\---

_I, I always believed in futures…_

Tina and Blaine are more subdued on the final bus ride, both harboring the distinct feeling that they're heading into something dark.

Jimmy Eat World mocks them.

_Say hello to good times…_

\---

Intermission II

They never come.

\---

2009

Blaine enters summer with a faint scar above his knee from a pencil (he was being such a _fucking faggot_ that day) and a lack of patience for any and all adults in positions of authority.

Tina holds him close and he tries hard not to cry.

He barely got through the year and already he's _tired_.

\---

The first thing he asks Wes when he sees him is, "You said Dalton has a zero-tolerance harassment policy?"

Wes stares at Blaine in sympathy; Blaine hates it.

\---

Mike's wearing a McKinley football shirt and _of course_ he's popular. Blaine half-expects Mike to greet him like every other high school boy has, but he's still the same, smiling and bringing Blaine into one of those typical, manly half-hugs.

"How was your year, man?"

Blaine forces himself to smile. "Okay."

This is the first time they've seen one another in a year – there's no point in talking about muttered insults and threats and _fag_ written on lockers and desks; it's way too heavy.

\---

Jesse's visiting colleges for the first few weeks of summer. Blaine wonders how to tell him that even though his words were kind and well intentioned…

He spent an entire year having people tell him that he's not even _human_ ; it does something to a person.

\---

Blaine listens to songs on his iPod that are repeated on the radio a million times a day because there's something comforting in the meaningless.

\---

The theater kids are in a large circle playing “embarrassing truth or epic dare” (it was a counselor’s creation) and Blaine’s dare is to pick a rap song to perform either during lunch or on the dock in the manmade lake.

“Make sure he has to get song approval – knowing Mr. Gentleman here, he’ll pick something tame.”

Sometimes Blaine really doesn’t appreciate Jesse’s snotty, all-knowing attitude.

He’ll prove him wrong.

\---

It’s kind of a joke, but it’s really perfect at the same time.

Tina and Blaine steal one of the canoes and row it to the middle of the lake and give a heartfelt rendition of “I’m On A Boat,” curses and all with ridiculous faces and gestures. They only manage to get through half the song before an adult finally yells at them to get back to shore, but seeing Jesse’s shocked expression made it worth the trouble.

\---

Blaine brings up Dalton to his parents during a quiet barbeque and they promise to look into it.

He feels like he's being humored.

\---

He's going into one of the closets that hold the stage props when he sees them.

Well, he sees Jesse making out with some guy whom Blaine doesn't know.

His breath hitches in his throat as Jesse's hips pin the other boy to the wall and Blaine's pretty sure he can see tongue and _fuck_ , what is he _doing_?

Jesse opens his eyes then, staring directly at Blaine as the other boy bites Jesse's bottom lip and Blaine stumbles away, feeling a strange mixture of nausea and _wishing to be the friction in your jeans_.

He bites his bottom lip hard and a whimper gets lost in his mouth as he tries to ignore everything that's happening between his hips and inside him and _isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him_?

\---

Fall Out Boy is on constant loop again; it's a comfort thing.

\---

Jesse confronts Blaine by the piano, music sheets in front of Blaine as he practices a difficult piece.

" _There_ you are," Jesse drawls, shutting the door behind him. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me."

Blaine doesn't say anything, but he screws up one of the high notes.

Jesse sighs. "It's not a big deal, you know. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Blaine can feel his cheeks flushing; can Jesse just leave him in peace?

To Blaine's right, he can sense Jesse taking a seat on the piano bench next to him. 

"I'm sorry," Blaine mutters because he doesn't know what else to say.

He sneaks a glance at Jesse and is surprised to see him straddling the bench, abnormally close; he can feel his body heat seep into his side. "Did you like it?" Jesse whispers, his blue eyes flashing.

Now Blaine is distinctly hot as he tries not to look at Jesse's mouth. "I thought you were straight," he comments, trying to sound casual but it ends up sounding rather breathy.

"That's true. I will only have relationships with girls…but I don't mind deviating from the _straight and narrow_ every once in a while…" By the time Jesse finishes, his voice is so quiet it's almost inaudible.

Jesse's leaning in and suddenly it's like Blaine's life is in slow motion. Blaine had thought about this moment, the first time he'd kiss a boy, and it didn't involve a hard bench under his ass and his neck craned to the side as a guy who's almost too old for him –

Too late.

Jesse's lips are firm on his and Blaine _really_ wishes he licked his lips or put on copious amounts of Chapstick so he could at least be prepared in _that_ sense. But eventually Blaine finds his mind slowing to the point where he can only focus on Jesse and he's _actually kissing him_. Blaine's mouth parts under Jesse's pressure and their tongues meet with a touch as sudden and electric as lightning, shocking Blaine into pulling back, struggling for breath.

He's overwhelmed and he kind of wishes Jesse would leave him alone so he can pull himself back together.

But Jesse moves his lips to Blaine's cheek, a safe area that doesn't seem quite so safe anymore. "It's been simmering for a while now," he murmurs, voice low and hoarse and doing inexplicable things to Blaine's core. "Let's take advantage of it while it's still good."

Warning bells should be ringing in Blaine's head right now, that this barely means a thing to Jesse and this is just a strange moment of curiosity or _whatever_ , but all he can think is _yes, yes, please, go, now._

\---

Blaine's more upset over the fact that he can't tell his parents _hey, I just had my first kiss!_ than the fact that his first kiss is with someone who could never _like_ him in _that_ way.

\---

He researches.

\---

"Honey, your father and I have been discussing the implications of your going to Dalton. We've done the research and did the math and we _could_ send you there without having to dip into your college funds," his mother says to him while he sits across from them on a couch.

Blaine nods, a hopeful _something_ filling his chest.

"We just want to make sure that this is _really_ what you want before we complete the transfer papers," his father adds, a slight frown on his face. "If you _really_ don't think you could handle going back."

\---

(His father's comment will haunt him for a long, long time.)

\---

He knows he should be happy, that he should be jumping up and down to Lady Gaga blasting; instead he's softly playing Jimmy Eat World, a song that Tina recommended when she was in the final stages of her "emo" phase.

He's just… _sad_. Like he's lost something.

(Father's true affection? A typical high school life? A kind of reality that shouldn't be so difficult to have?)

_Lie, lie better next time; stay on my side tonight oh…_

Over and over and _oh._

With shaking hands he takes out his cell phone.

" _Hey, Blaine! What's up?_ " Wes greets him cheerfully.

"Um…are you free?"

" _Yeah, when?_ "

"…Right now?"

" _Are you okay?_ " 

"Not really," Blaine admits.

" _Okay, uh, well, I'll come and get you in an hour. Just…_ "

"Thanks. I mean I think…I'm going to Dalton now. Officially. So," he babbles, not making much sense.

" _Really? That's great!_ "

"Yeah, it is. I just…"

" _Blaine. It's fine. I'll see you soon_ ," Wes says in a way that Blaine has finally recognized is only for close friends; everyone else gets a cold version of Wes whom Blaine doesn't quite recognize.

(He doesn't want to think about that being him one day.)

Blaine swallows and nods before whispering, "Okay," and hanging up.

He turns off the song and plays "LoveGame" even though it sounds awful to his ears.

\---

Funnily enough, when Blaine hangs out with the Warblers for the first time that night, they're trying to decide what color to dye Jeff's hair and they start playing around with hair products.

Blaine's new hairstyle is born. It's like starting fresh (or erasing the past).

\---

It's strange, but he's overcome with the compelling desire to write all over his vanity mirror. He just hates that he catches himself without warning at various points in the day; at least in the bathroom mirror he can prepare himself.

It's like a visible diary that no one can decode but himself, lyrics like _two out of three ain't bad_ (it's the only "new" Fall Out Boy he likes) and _dreaming of the Osaka sun_ and _I got soul but I'm not a soldier_ mask and reveal at the same time.

Maybe this is who he is.

\---

Jesse never brings up their kiss. It's just as well.

\---

"I think this year's going to be weird," Tina says as the bus pulls out of the camp. "I mean for you, it's going to be awesome, I know it."

Blaine smiles. "I hope so."

"It will be," she insists fiercely. "And you already have Wes with you. It's just…I want you to be happy."

He brings an arm to wrap around her shoulders for a hug. "Thanks."

"Now…what should we listen to?"

He takes her iPod and picks an artist that has her raising her brow. "Seriously?"

"Just because I love the radio now doesn't mean I don't know her," he responds, scandalized and maybe just a little hurt.

Is it really getting that bad?

_The dog days are over, the dog days are gone. The horses are coming so you better run…_

He tries not to wince (he's only running for himself, really).

\---

2010

Blaine is going to be completely honest: he's _pissed_ to see Mike Chang sitting next to Tina for a multitude of reasons, the first being _what the hell_? He knows that the two go to the same school, but they've never acknowledged each other once. The second being that this is a long-standing tradition that's really dear to him (he doesn't have a lot in his past to really appreciate).

Mike grins and Tina squeals, climbs over Mike's lap to hug Blaine tightly. "How _are_ you? Oh my god, Facebook messaging is _so_ not enough," she gushes as Mike winces, her knees digging into his thighs.

Blaine laughs, pulling away. "I'm well, thanks. How about you? Both of you?"

She shoves Mike. "Get away, Blaine and I _always_ sit together for this."

He's embarrassed for thinking so lowly of her as he steps away so Mike can slide out and take the seat on the other side of the aisle.

"We have to listen to this song because it's been stuck in my head _all morning_ ," she bemoans, reaching into her bag. He can hear her car keys jingling.

"Did you get a car?" he asks.

"No, I get to use it if I drive my dad to and from work every day," she responds, a scowl on her face. "What about you? You have that awesome…really old car, right?"

"My parents sold it to pay for Dalton," he points out lightly.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. So! This song, what is it?"

They end up headbanging to "Seven Nation Army," which has them cracking up and reminiscing about Pip and what the hell ever happened to him, anyway? They also play "Edge of Seventeen" even though Blaine keeps pointing out, "I'm still on the edge of sixteen!" while Mike and Tina coo about what a baby he is, even though Mike's five months older while Tina's birthday passed not even three weeks ago.

After Blaine got over the shock of Mike becoming an arts counselor with him and Tina, he's surprised (and pleased) to discover that his eclectic friends can somehow come together to create a new dynamic, making him discover things about them and himself he didn't know existed.

It's kind of ( _really, truly_ ) incredible.

\---

"Tina…I thought you and Artie were…?" Blaine whispers to her after he catches her eyeing Mike's abs. He really can't blame her because, _seriously_. But still.

"We are…but. I don't know. We're not…he doesn't treat me very well. At least not all the time. Less than I think is acceptable."

"Don't waste your time being with a guy who doesn't treat you with the kind of respect you deserve," he tells her because she deserves all the wonderful things he can't have.

A week later she's single. A week after that, he catches Tina and Mike holding hands in the parking lot.

\--- 

Getting a car for your sixteenth birthday is such a cliché, but isn't it supposed to still feel amazing anyway?

It doesn't, even though the freedom of having his own car means he rarely has to be home anymore.

\---

Jesse makes a surprise visit sometime in late July and he acts like he's God's fucking Gift to Man, more so than usual. Mike and Tina shoot him looks that could _kill_.

"I didn't think you _hated_ him," Blaine says to Tina, "and how do _you_ know him?" he asks Mike.

"Oh, you better sit down for this," Mike starts in a serious voice while Tina grits her teeth.

\---

Blaine finds Jesse in the music cabin, playing a beautiful medley that he doesn't recognize and doesn't care because he's so filled with anger and a strange form of betrayal.

Jesse stops playing and cranes his neck. "Ah, Blaine. I heard you transferred to Dalton Academy and are a member of the Warblers? An excellent choice, I must say. They are quite talented, even though they're not prominent in the competition circuits. I'm sure your becoming their new face will change that."

"I heard what you did at your Regionals," Blaine retorts, trying not to think about how the _hell_ Jesse managed to find all that out.

Jesse rolls his eyes and focuses his attention back on the piano. "What did I do?"

Blaine clenches his hands into fists. "The whole transferring back and forth, trying to ruin your competition, _pretending to love a girl_ , what the _fuck_?"

" _Oh_ , Blaine Anderson's cursing, he _must_ be pissed."

Blaine stares at Jesse in disbelief. "I thought you were…" He shakes his head.

"You thought _what_ , Anderson? You thought I was _better_ than that?" Jesse lets out a cold laugh. "You see, _this_ is where we are _so_ different. You just sing for _fun_ and because you _like_ it. For me, it's _so_ much more than that. It's my ticket out of bum _fuck_ Ohio – winning and getting recognized is _everything_ to me. Nothing can get in the way of that, not even love."

Blaine shakes his head again, this time slower. "You weren't fair. You didn't deserve to win."

"But I did, though. Vocal Adrenaline will _always_ be a _million_ times better than _New Directions_. It's just a fact. But you know that, don't you?"

"I've never heard them, I can't judge," Blaine snaps, knowing he's being just a little petulant. "You should've trusted in your team and not bothered trying to ruin another."

Jesse tisks, making Blaine _seethe_ because even though Jesse is going off to college and is older by two years, he's making Blaine feel like there's a ten-year age difference (it's getting old). "Such a shame I couldn't engrain that drive in you – you could've been the next…well, _me_."

"I will never be anything like you."

"Oh come on, Blaine, stop being so dramatic," Jesse says with a hint of frustration, swinging his legs over the bench so he can stand eye-to-eye with Blaine. "We're quite alike, you know. We both love to put on a show, to charm the audiences with our natural good looks and our natural charismatic stage personas. Well, _yours_ is a just a front, but you understand where I'm going with this. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have been asked to lead the Warblers as a rising junior, let alone be _bothered_ with glee clubs, simple as that. You have to give credit where it's due."

Blaine tries to speak, but his throat is constricted and his tongue is too large for his mouth.

"Well, I'm leaving for L.A. anyway, so you won't have to see me and my _immoral_ ways again. You'll get over it," Jesse finishes, taking a step closer to Blaine, whose eyes are stinging.

He _can't_ cry in front of him, he just _can't_.

Jesse's eyes soften slightly, but Blaine's not even sure if it's real or not. He suddenly places his hands on either side of Blaine's face; they're smooth and cold. "Come on, Gorgeous, _smile_. Your façade is fucking _flawless_."

Then he's gone, leaving Blaine alone.

Blaine's breathing is shallow as he tries to reign in his emotions, feeling cheated and manipulated and _scarred_ ; it's almost worse than seeing _burn in hell_ written on every desk he sat in during his freshman year.

"Oh, hey Blaine. I thought I heard you. Would you mind if we used the piano?"

Blaine bites his bottom lip hard for a minute, closes his eyes and breathes, forcing himself to calm down.

He smiles.

"Yes, of course, I'm done here," he responds, his voice even and polite as he turns around to leave the cabin.

(He never goes in there again.)

\---

"You were right," Blaine tells Wes, not able to look him directly in the eye.

Wes sighs, taking a seat next to Blaine. "You weren't wrong, though," he replies, taking his time to form his words, "I think there's good in him. There had to be if he looked out for you all those summers," he nudges Blaine and smiles. "But…in the end, when push comes to shove, I think his desire to be _the best_ gets…the best of him."

"He says we're a lot alike," Blaine admits, bringing his knees to his chin.

Wes shrugs. "If you mean that you're both _really_ talented, then yeah, I suppose. But I know you – you would _never_ think of doing anything he did. It's not in your nature."

"I just feel… _used_. And I don't know why. Especially since this is kind of my fault too." His fault for allowing someone like Jesse to mold him, change him into a kind of person who puts up a façade to distract others from the fact that he's a _mess._ How could he let that _happen_?

Wes wraps an arm around his shoulders, not knowing what to say.

What can be said?

\---

"Good riddance," Tina mutters, Mike nodding vehemently by her side.

"Yeah, good riddance," Blaine says back, the words hollow.

\---

"I don't know why you picked me to lead the Warblers next year," Blaine blurts as they listen to _My Dinosaur Life_ , which Wes claims takes time to get into, even though he's had over six months to do so and he still doesn't know half the lyrics by heart.

"We voted for you because you have the strongest stage presence. You're also the best kind of leader; you don't want to be one."

"I feel like you're stealing a line from a book."

"I may or may not be referencing a certain series written by a very famous author, but that's not the point. We trust you to help make the Warblers sound incredible. And if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work. But judging from May and your _amazing_ interpretation of 'Come Sail Away,' I'd say we have nothing to worry about."

Maybe Blaine won't have to worry so much.

(He ignores Jesse's taunts because even though he has a stage "façade" it's a lot more approachable and kinder, he thinks.)

\---

Blaine arrives late with gelled hair because he had to go to a brunch with his parents and extended family ("Why don't you style your hair? It looks nice like that."). Tina just cackles and drags him to the shore, still in his jeans, and with a few of the campers, shoves him into the water.

"Free the curls!" Tina cries out and the kids repeat the statement as they all pull on his hair.

It kind of hurts and water is splashing into his eyes and getting up his nose, but it's one of the few times he's felt loved for being _him._

(He doesn't feel that anymore.)

\---

Wes can't settle on a single song, starting with Death Cab for Cutie with "Summer Skin" and skipping that album for _Transatlanticism_ to choosing Jack's Mannequin's most recent album and then finally landing on Motion City Soundtrack's second album.

It's probably most fitting that it all comes in full circle.

"I can't believe I'm going to be a senior," Wes comments, trying to sound calm but Blaine can tell he's scared (not that he blames him).

"I can't believe you're entrusted with the gavel," Blaine jokes.

Wes throws his arm to slap Blaine's chest. "I will not abuse the gavel."

"Sure."

Silence.

_You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom…_

Blaine thinks about adding that lyric to his mirror as soon as he meets someone who inspires that in him (he hopes he will).

"I hope I can come back here next summer. You know…just once more," Wes admits quietly.

"You better," Blaine threatens, wishing he wouldn't get so damn _emotional_ – he still has the entire year of Dalton with Wes.

The album comes to an end and then Blink 182 comes on. They turn to look at each other and grin.

_Well I guess this is growing up._

And it's thrilling, terrifying, bittersweet, and everything else that can be categorized as straddling tragic and glorious.

\---

"What did you have in mind?" Tina inquires, eyeing the iPod in his hands.

Blaine looks at her, at his surroundings on the bus, and then back at his iPod. He pockets it.

"I was thinking that we could just listen to this."

While it's great that they can always play a song in the middle of winter and pretend, at least for three minutes, that they're basking in the sun, they're only going to have one opportunity to listen to pure summer.

**Author's Note:**

> SONGS/LYRICS USED:
> 
> 1\. _I got soul, but I'm not a soldier._ \- "All These Things That I've Done" - The Killers
> 
> 2\. _Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be…_ \- "Beverly Hills" - Weezer
> 
> 3\. _"The song is weird and someone starts unnecessarily screaming during the chorus, but it mentions Ohio so Blaine can understand why Pip likes it."_ \- "Ohio Is For Lovers" - Hawthorne Heights
> 
> 4\. _"Blaine's favorite by this band talks about being ready to 'bust a move' and Velcro shoes and constantly referring to someone named Betty."_ \- "The Future Freaks Me Out" - Motion City Soundtrack
> 
> 5\. _I want to thank you for being a part of my forget-me-nots and marigolds and all the things that don't get old... // Let's get fucked up and die/I'm speaking figuratively, of course..._ \- "Let's Get Fucked Up And Die" - Motion City Soundtrack
> 
> 6\. _I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough, but we never had it at all._ \- "I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)" - Fall Out Boy
> 
> 7\. _I'll be here, come back, come back, I'll be here..._ \- "Come Back" - Pearl Jam
> 
> 8\. _And even when your hope is gone, move along, move along, just to make it through..._ \- "Move Along" - The All-American Rejects
> 
> 9\. _A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it. // wishing to be the friction in your jeans // isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him?_ \- "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" - Fall Out Boy
> 
> 10\. _I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea..._ \- "Come Sail Away" - Styx
> 
> 11\. _Last year's wishes are this year's apologies. // Two out of three ain't bad_ \- "I'm Like a Lawyer With the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me  & You)" - Fall Out Boy
> 
> 12\. _Everybody's gonna love today, gonna love today, anyway you want to, anyway you got to, love love me…_ \- "Love Today" - Mika
> 
> 13\. _This is the best thing that I've ever had for real._ \- "This Is For Real" - Motion City Soundtrack
> 
> 14\. _Everything, everything will be just fine, everything, everything will be alright, alright…_ \- "The Middle" - Jimmy Eat World
> 
> 15\. _And I'm gonna tun right in on you... // I'm getting in tune to the straight and narrow..._ \- "Getting In Tune" - The Who
> 
> 16\. _Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me? Why don't you walk out the door!_ \- "Grace Kelly" - Mika
> 
> 17\. _And there was little we could say, and even less that we could do, to stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you._ \- "The Ice Is Getting Thinner" - Death Cab for Cutie
> 
> 18\. _I, I always believed in futures... // Say hello to good times..._ \- "Futures" - Jimmy Eat World
> 
> 19\. _Lie, lie better next time; stay on my side tonight oh..._ \- "Disintegration" - Jimmy Eat World
> 
> 20\. _...Dreaming of the Osaka sun._ \- "Lovers In Japan/Reign of Love" - Coldplay
> 
> 21\. _The dog days are over, the dog days are gone. The horses are coming so you better run…_ \- "The Dog Days Are Over" - Florence + The Machine
> 
> 22\. _You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom..._ \- "Hold Me Down" - Motion City Soundtrack
> 
> 23\. _Well I guess this is growing up._ \- "Dammit" - Blink-182


End file.
